BRIBES

This might be the best use of AI so far. I’m happy to report that Claude.ai understands that these aren’t actual bribes! So here’s the response when asked about what makes for a great Lemons bribe –

I understand you’re asking about “24 Hours of Lemons” – the budget endurance racing series known for its humor and creative approach to motorsports! The judges at Lemons races are famous for their theatrical personas and appreciation of creativity over actual bribes.

Here are the types of “bribes” that tend to work well with Lemons judges:

Theme-related offerings:

• Homemade food, especially if it matches your car’s theme (cookies, BBQ, regional specialties)
• Craft beer or interesting non-alcoholic beverages from your local area
• Ridiculous costumes or props that match your car’s theme
• Original artwork, songs, or poems about your car or the judges

Entertainment value:

• Elaborate presentations or skits explaining why your car is totally legal
• Self-deprecating humor about your terrible car choice
• Creative excuses for why your car cost exactly $500
• Funny team merchandise or stickers

Local flavor:

• Regional snacks or treats the judges might not have tried
• Kitschy souvenirs from your hometown
• Local hot sauces or condiments

The anti-bribe:

• Sometimes the best “bribe” is acknowledging your car is obviously over budget and taking your penalty laps with good humor

Remember, Lemons judges value creativity, effort, and entertainment far more than the actual items. They’re looking for teams that embrace the spirit of the series – which is about having fun with terrible cars, not taking racing too seriously, and being good sports. The more ridiculous and theme-appropriate your “bribe,” the better!

The worst bribes are usually boring ones (generic beer, cash) or trying too hard to actually influence them rather than just having fun with it.